The Family in Family Therapy

My master’s degree is in Marriage and Family Therapy, and yet my first two job titles out of school have been “K-8 School Counselor” and I am currently the School Based Therapist for Otis School District. In Graduate School, I worked for Children’s Hospital in Denver on some research studies, and my now published thesis is on the relationship between adolescent anxiety and depression and physical health. So, I’ve been asked several times- why Marriage and Family Therapy, and work in a school setting?

I have had so many incredible therapy sessions with people of all ages, but adolescence is such a special time in someones’ life, and also such a challenging time, from emotional, physical, social (and more) domains, and they are finding their place in their families- which is likely changing. In my work with teens in Aurora, Fort Collins, Greeley, and now rural Colorado, it is becoming more and more obvious that it doesn’t matter if I’m talking to them about teen pregnancy, probation, jail time, divorce, diabetes and healthy living, school, or really anything as their “presenting problem”, family (and systems) always come up as at least part of what has shaped them into the person they are today.

Let me explain that further. I worked with specific subgroups in my different jobs- that’s why I specifically pull out the ones listed above- I was seeing them for therapy, or they were part of a research study because they were pregnant, on probation, dealing with diabetes, and so forth, but my time with them wasn’t ever just about that. When I look at a client, I am “systems trained” which means, because I chose Marriage and Family Therapy, my lens is always that people are a part of so many different systems, which impacts the person they are today. So, someone isn’t depressed just because they are on probation. They are also part of a family, a friend community, a physical community (for the people I work with now- rural, eastern Colorado), part of the school system, and this can go on and on. All of the systems are impacting in some way- or being impacted by- the individuals’ depression. Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological model is where a lot of this line of thinking comes from, and it is something that makes a lot of sense to my work. The majority of people I work with right now, both at school and in my private practice, are individuals. I can and do provide couple therapy and family therapy services, but when I am doing individual therapy, I am using the same theories, and sometimes the same interventions.

People do not live in a bubble. There is no way that we can go through this life not being impacted by other people, and groups of other people. When someone is going through a difficult time, especially if anxiety/depression/other mental health disorders are involved, they are going to interact differently in their own systems which will cause a “shift” for everyone. Much as I alluded to at the beginning of this- things are changing all the time for teenagers, especially when they get into high school and beyond- and because the person is changing, things are changing for the whole family. This is where I believe in the power of families, and family support, and why I became a Marriage and Family Therapist, even though I knew I would likely be working with many more individuals. When families do come in to my office together, so much more progress can be made, and so much quicker, because everyone is on the same page, and everyone is able to speak their truth right here and now. I often spend many sessions with clients talking about that tough conversation that needs to be had- with a romantic partner, parent, sibling, friend, teacher- really anyone- and if that other person is in the same room, the conversation can be had right then and there. Some of these conversations are around boundaries, past hurts in the relationships, or, just needing to ask for more or different support from that person.

None of this is limited to just teenagers, this is true of people of any age, and in any life stage. Family is important, and systems are important, in any therapy, but family therapy holds a special place in producing the right environment to help people through any shift or transition in their lives, or in their mental health.